BDSM is on everyone’s lips since Fifty Shades of Gray at the latest. But who thinks that this special erotic variety is explained with a few lashes, is wrong. BDSM is a wide field – we explore it step by step. If you want to have a say in future discussions o. or if you are curious about captivatingdventures, you should read on.
To know what is behind the term, it should first be clear what this – somewhat bulky – acronym BDSM stands for. It is composed of the initial letters of the English terms “Bondage &Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism” and is the correct generic term for a group of diverse sexual preferences identities. You can read this Buzzfeed article to learn some facts about BDSM.
At the BDSM, the participants go voluntarily and for pleasure from their equal rights in a power gap. The submissive partner, also called sub or bottom, gives up a certain part of his self-determination and hands it over to the dominant (determining) partner, Dom or Top. The sub is tied or humiliated in a predetermined setting, but also caresses. In the helplessness, the Auszubiefertsein and being educated is the attraction. The dome finds the stimulus and the excitement in control, the power over the sub. One way to do BDSM is by using sex swings. You can buy amazing door sex swings to put a little spice in your sexy time at cumswingwithme.com.
Switcher, sessions & vanilla ice cream
Most BDSMers find themselves in one of the two roles. But there are also some who switch between active and passive part: so-called switch or switcher. People who do not have BDSM inclinations are referred to as vanillas in the scene . Vanilla is the most popular and most widely distributed variety of ice cream and is considered to be ordinary. “Ordinary” sex is therefore Vanillasex .
BDSM practices usually take place during a fixed period of time, referred to as a game or session. Sexual intercourse in any form can occur within a session – but not necessarily. Important: BDSM is not always all at once, it is diverse. So domination does not necessarily mean sadism and pleasure pain is not for everyone and does not happen in many sessions. And did you know that bondage is not just meant to fix the sub, but is also practiced for purely aesthetic reasons?
Tips for getting started
As a BDSM beginner, you should start slowly and steadily increase. You do not need to decorate an entire game room to enjoy exciting games with the Force. Although “learning by doing” is probably the best part of many sexual practices, you should learn about BDSM adventures – first and foremost about safety and trust. We have compiled for you what exactly a Safeword is, how it should not be better and why it is so important in BDSM. In our BDSM dictionary you can also learn specific terms of the scene. To give your creativity and imagination something to jump on, we have great ideas for hot role-playing gamescollected. Are you interested in pleasurable slaps? Then you will be interested in our spanking article, which gives inspiration for positions for beginners and experienced spankers. And what role does pleasure pain actually play? Find out. A large range of BDSM is the fetish – lacquer, leather, latex are extremely popular in the scene and fashion. And of course a bit of bondage should not be missing. For an overview of commonly practiced bondage techniques and tips for beginners, see our guide to bondage postures.
The BDSM game also includes certain accessories and toys. So often used for spanking devices, Flogger whips or paddle. Shackles, blind folds, nipple clamps and Co. add spice to the power game. The hot candle wax game is also a popular tool for creating pleasure pain. Would you like to try these things? No problem! These boxes contain a matching selection of BDSM accessories for beginners.
BDSM history Kamasutra
The Kamasutra is the ancient Indian textbook on eroticism. Even then, the Indians knew about the excitement of gentle strokes. Various types of blows are explained and, for blows, inadmissible regions of the human body. It is the first written text on this subject. Here are also the origins of today’s SSC principle; because the Kamasutra points out that sex pats may only be distributed by mutual consent.
1769 – Erotic floggings
“Fanny Hill” is an erotic epistolary novel by John Cleland about a prostitute who enjoys her job. The book describes scenes with flagellations in a brothel.
18th century – An amoral sadist
Sadism is named after the French nobleman Marquis de Sade, who lived during the French Revolution. He wrote novels (“The 120 Days of Sodom”) with pornographic content and orgies of violence. However, this has nothing to do with today’s BDSM because Sade has been repeatedly charged with abusive victims and later arrested – his sadism was far from being based on mutual consent. He died in a psychiatric hospital.
19th century – An involuntary eponym
Another defining literary work for BDSM history is “Venus in the Fur” (1870) by the Austrian writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch. It is about the slave Severin and his submissive love for his mistress Wanda. The later familiar term masochism is a reference to his name.
1950s – Paint& leather
The roots of modern BDSM lie in the US gay Old Guard leather movement, which formed after the Second World War from the motorcyclist subculture. Published in 1981 in the US by the lesbian-feminist BDSM organization Samois, the handbook “Coming to Power” has led to a greater acceptance of the topic in the lesbian community.
1950s and 1960s – Long live the fetish
The US-American photographer Irving Klaw published the first commercials and photographs with BDSM motifs. He is considered the first fetish photographer and his model, the pin-up icon Bettie Page, became the first known bondage model.
1990s – The Internet
The abbreviation BDSM was developed at the beginning of the nineties in the USA in special Internet forums. The term is detectable there for the first time in 1991.
Who? As? Where? – BDSM in numbers
Estimates of the proportion of BDSM preferences in the population range from about 5 to 25 percent. According to a 2005 global survey (Durex Global Sex Survey 2005), which surveyed 317,000 people in 41 countries, around 20% of respondents used masks, blindfolds or other bondage utensils . 5% (Germany 4%) expressly professed to be sadomachistic varieties. In the survey conducted in 2004 (“Durex Global Sex Survey 2004”), in which more than 350,000 people participated, 19% (Germany 5%) professed practiced spanking. 22% (Germany 34%) confessed to the use of blindfolds and / or handcuffs .
Generally speaking, masochism (passive) seems to be more popular than sadism (active). According to various surveys, there are about four times as many BDSM fans who prefer the submissive part. A survey conducted by the Dutch Tilburg University found that BDSM people are more mentally stable, healthier and happier in their relationship than Vanilla. In the same survey, 33% of men said they were subs; 48% of them doms and 18% switcher. Among women, 75% were submissive, 8% dominant and 16% switcher.