What you need to know about Japan’s dating culture

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Looking from a Westerner’s perspective, the Far East is one of the most beautiful and exotic parts of the world. Nevertheless, our fascination with Japan and its fellow Asian countries and nations is nothing new. We obsess about their culture and way of life. Moreover, we enjoy their cuisine and pop culture sometimes more than our very own.


But this text isn’t about weird anime cartoons and manga graphic novels or ramen dishes and sake shots. It’s about how Japanese men and women perceive and go about dating. In fact, we’ll be looking into how you, as a foreigner, can win over women in Japan. So, feel free to join us on this cultural trip.

Japanese Women Are Conservative

Regardless of the age group that you’re after, Japanese women are a bit more conservative than those in Europe or America. Of course, young people will have more of an open mind towards foreigners, but that’s nowhere near what you might expect. This makes dating Japanese women somewhat harder than, for example, Koreans.


In essence, this is due to their closed-off culture. Nine out of ten women in Japan will tell you that they wouldn’t be okay with dating a European or African. This is a bit tricky, as some might consider it racist. But it’s not like that at all. You won’t have any problem walking around Japan and communicating with people. It’s just dating.


The culture in Japan might be such that it’s hard to start a romantic relationship with a woman, but it’s not impossible. If you do, you will find out how fun and interesting Japanese girls can be. Many of them are into super obscure stuff, like niche hobbies and subcultures. And all this translates into being kinky in the sack.

Group Dates Are Normal

Public displays of affection with Japanese people might be rare, but they are no strangers to group dates. Yep! They love to go out in couples and have all sorts of fun. From dinners to bowling and movies, you’ll be surprised how communal they are. As such, you can expect your Japanese lady to invite her friends for a ride when you spend time together.


A classic date with a Japanese woman and her friends can look like anything you can imagine. You might go drinking and singing karaoke one night and then watch Hollywood movies in the theater the next evening. On the flip side, dinners usually occur in weird conceptual restaurants all over major cities. So, feel free to expect all sorts of shenanigans.

Confessions First Before Anything

Japanese dating culture is all about honesty. Their women won’t show their feelings if you don’t show them first. In other words, you must lay down your cards before you can expect anything more than regular conversations and mere contact. But that’s cool if you think about it. There are no mind games and double-crossing involved. You’ll know where you’re at with your Japanese girlfriend at any time.


Of course, this isn’t a rule for all Japanese women, but it’s still something you can go by as most follow this kind of behavior. No stats suggest any of this, yet it’s what your first impression will be. If you are honest about your feelings, they won’t hesitate to show theirs. In fact, this is how Japanese society works in general. They are pretty literal, so don’t expect too much beating around the bush. Be direct, and you’ll see results

Public Dates With Minimal Public Display of Affection

As we’ve briefly mentioned, PDAs are not fashionable in Tokyo and other parts of Japan. Moreover, they pretty much don’t exist outside urban areas, that is, in rural areas where the population is even more traditional. Of course, none of this should be a problem for you. You can still hold hands and act like two love birds with the right-minded girl. Just don’t expect smooching for a long time while in public, as Japanese culture doesn’t find that all that much normal.


But who’d want that when you can get all you want back home? This might sound like Japan is the best place for introverts. And in some ways, it is. You and your partner can stay at home all the time and enjoy your love while watching TV shows, reading manga, and eating sushi. Furthermore, you won’t need to spend all that money on romantic dinners for Valentine’s Day. The two of you can have all the fun in the world, far from the rest of us. 

Sex on the First Date Is Okay but Rare

Everything we’ve been on about until now leads to sex. Although they are more conservative in public, they are more than freaky and kinky when it comes to carnal pleasures. You can enjoy BDSM, quirky role-playing, and all other activities and fetishes with them. They won’t mind experimenting if they find you attractive and interesting enough. However, don’t count on having sex the first night the two of you go out. It’s probably not gonna happen.


Once again, not all women are the same. The same goes for Japanese girls. Some might feel freer and invite you for some coffee after a date. They might even whip out a dildo at it, but it’s rare. These women live in big cities like Tokyo, where traditional Japanese culture isn’t as prevalent as it is in rural areas. But you can’t count on meeting them every time. Even if they exist, they are in smaller numbers.


Nevertheless, there’s no need to despair. Some dating facts about Japan seem like it’s almost impossible to find a partner over there, but that’s not true. It’s just like in any other country around the world. The dating scene is alive and well, but it has its unique rules which you should follow. Hence, it’s best to know them. You should avoid showing affection in public and looking for sex immediately. Instead, show some patience and respect, and you’ll soon find yourself dating a smart and beautiful Japanese girl.